I Want Love
by Jooles34
Summary: A slash song fic. Jack and Ianto seek comfort in each other after Cyberwoman and Small Worlds. Strong, slightly angsty, MM slash to I Want Love. Second songfic added, COE Day Four, Ianto POV, angsty; song is Calico Skies.
1. I Want Love

_**AN**__ – This is my first attempt at a song fic. Trust me to make it smut… The song has been buzzing around my head for ages as a song that suited Jack, but it suddenly struck me that it fitted Ianto as well._

_Each set of lyrics is "thought" by the person who's POV follows them, or by both of them if the following section starts with them both. Hope that make sense. Set after _Small Worlds_._

_Torchwood belongs to the BBC, not me, and the quite fantastic lyrics are "_I Want Love_" written by Elton John._

_I want love, but it's impossible  
A man like me, so irresponsible  
A man like me is dead in places  
Other men feel liberated _

Jack stood in his office. Alone again. The Hub was empty; everyone had left him.

And he was tired. Tired of being the only one could see the bigger picture, who could understand. Tired of being the one that had to make all the difficult decisions and then being hated for them. Tired of people he cared about dying because of him. But most of all he was tired of being alone.

But he knew with the life he had led, and the decisions he had made, and would still have to make, alone was all he would ever be.

He turned, surprised at suddenly hearing the office door open behind him.

_I can't love, shot full of holes  
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold  
Don't feel nothing, just old scars  
Toughening up around my heart _

Ianto closed the office door behind him and walked steadily towards Jack. He had heard what had happened; had seen the disgust in everyone's eyes when they had returned. Seen them leave Jack alone.

He knew what it was to be on the receiving end of that look. He knew what it was to have someone you love taken from you. And he knew what it was to be alone. He had never felt so alone. So hurt, so damaged. He didn't want to feel alone anymore. He didn't want to feel anything anymore.

_But I want love, just a different kind  
I want love, won't break me down  
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in  
I want a love, that don't mean a thing  
That's the love I want, I want love  
_

Jack and Ianto fell on each other in one unspoken move. Mouths found each other, hot and warm. Tongues, lips and teeth probing, flicking, biting, sucking.

Hands clutched roughly at jackets, braces, shirts, ties. Fingers found buttons and zips. Pulling, pushing, ripping, and finally fingers where on skin. Flesh was pressed against hot flesh. Bodies moved together, against each other, never being close enough.

Needy, desperate, passionate, longing, frantic, confirming, freeing.

_I want love on my own terms  
After everything I've ever learned  
Me, I carry too much baggage  
Oh man I've seen so much traffic _

Jack spun Ianto around and leaned him over the desk. He needed this, but couldn't look him in the eye. Couldn't let the other man see what would be all too obvious there. Didn't want him to see the pain and loneliness; to see his history laid bare and exposed.

Jack's hand flew into his desk drawer and desperate fingers sought out the bottle of lube. Fingers coated, he prepared Ianto. He tried not to hurt him, but he didn't have it in him to be gentle; not tonight. He needed to possess; take what was being offered. But Jack didn't receive any protests. He felt Ianto push back against him, push himself deeper onto his exploring hand and he thrust his fingers up, eliciting a deep moan from the man underneath him.

With a guttural groan of his own Jack prepared himself.

_So bring it on, I've been bruised  
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth  
I'm ready for the rougher stuff  
No sweet romance, I've had enough_

Ianto closed his eyes as he felt Jack's cock against his opening. He wanted this, needed this. Wanted to feel Jack take him, fill him, fuck him.

Ianto gasped and winced slightly as he felt Jack push his way inside him. But the pain felt good. It felt real. Suddenly Ianto felt everything he had needed. His closed-off heart beat faster as his body gave in to the physical sensations.

He kept his eyes closed as Jack moved inside him, pushing deeper and deeper; pushing the hurt in his heart to one side. Ianto felt Jack's hand come around his body and start to work his cock in time with the thrusts. Ianto moaned again. It had been so long since someone had touched him. Since someone had made him feel this alive. Since someone had made him feel anything but pain.

_But I want love, just a different kind  
I want love, won't break me down  
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in  
I want a love, that don't mean a thing  
That's the love I want, I want love_

With a cry they came together, their sweaty bodies stayed pressed close as they fought to catch their breath.

There were many things that this wasn't, many things that neither man would ever be, but at least, right now, they weren't alone.

_**AN**__ – Comments, concrit, reviews loved as always. Partic on this as it's my first attempt._


	2. I Will Love You

_**AN**__ – thanks for all reviews and alerts and favourites; it's all so appreciated._

_This is a Calico Skies song fic, mainly from Ianto's POV, set during the events of COE Day Four, up to and including the end. This song and Day Four have been in my head together for months. I have no idea why it suddenly spilled out tonight, but I simply adore this song._

_Torchwood owned by the BBC, not me, and the beautiful Calico Skies is all Paul McCartney._

Ianto sat on the hard ground of the warehouse cradling Jack's body in arms. He'd done this so many times, and though it almost felt like a habit, it still tore him up inside. Gwen was trying to calm the man that had fired the gun while Ianto's world spun around his head. Finding out that Jack had been the one to lead those children to his fate should have changed him shouldn't it? Should have changed his feelings towards the man in his arms. But it hadn't; wouldn't; couldn't. Ianto would hold him while he gasped back into live this time just as he would every time still to come. He kept his hand curled protectively around Jack's face as Clem handed he gun to Gwen.

Ianto felt Jack's body tense and spasm against him as his lungs fought to drag in air. He felt Jack's hands clutching at him seeking security as they always did these days. As Clem fled through the warehouse followed by Gwen, Ianto turned his full attention back to the man in his arms.

_It was written that I would love you  
From the moment I opened my eyes  
And the minute when I first saw you  
Gave me life under calico skies  
I will hold you for as long as you like  
I'll love you for the rest of my life_

Ianto looked over at Jack as he drove them towards Thames House. In the last 24 hours he had found out so many things about this man by his side. He had always supposed that Jack must have had children at some point in his life, but still alive? Local? That he hadn't expected. It changed the way he thought about him, but not how he felt about him. He needed to make sure that Jack knew that.

_Always looking for ways to love you  
Never failing to fight by your side  
While the angels of love protect us  
From the innermost secrets we hide  
I will hold you for as long as you like  
I'll love you for the rest of my life_

Ianto stood in the lift, slightly behind Jack. In a ride that seemed to be taking forever, yet would never feel long enough, his Captain looked as nervous as he felt. They were heading into the unknown, to face an unknown enemy. Not knowing if they would have to threaten, or have to fight; what they would fight with, what they were fighting against. But they were heading in together; and if they had to fight, they would fight together.

_Long live all of us crazy soldiers _

_Who were born under calico skies_

_May we never be called to handle  
All the weapons of war we despise  
I will hold you for as long as you like  
I'll love you for the rest of my life._

Jack sat on the hard ground of the 13th floor cradling Jack's body in arms. He'd done this so many times, and though it almost felt like a habit, it still tore him up inside. This was wrong. This was the wrong body. This should never have been him. He shouldn't have been here. Why had he come with him? Why had he followed him into this? Feeling his own life slipping away from him he pulled Ianto's body as close to him as he could.

_I will hold you for as long as you like  
I'll love you for the rest of my...  
For the rest of my…_

_life_

_AN – Comments *sniff* are, as ever *sniff* love. *wanders off for tissues*_


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